Soldier Boys
by Proteus-92
Summary: Little is known about the lands beyond Equestria's borders, and the sort of ponies that inhabit them. Are they friendly? Hostile? Are they even ponies at all? Well, one day, the small town of Ponyville received an answer to all of these questions...
1. Meet The Team

**Soldier Boys**

**By: Proteus-92**

**Chapter I: Meet the Team**

"Thanks again for helping me out with this, Applejack."

"Eh, it's nothin' Twilight."

"I'm sorry about asking for your help. I know that you're busy with planting, but-"

"Hey, don't worry 'bout it so much- Big Macintosh can handle things on his own 'til I get back."

Twilight Sparkle and Applejack were trotting through the Everfree Forest back to Ponyville. The two had paid a visit to Zecora, picking up a large number of herbs that Twilight had asked the zebra to find. They struggled under the new weight of their bags, packed to the brim with a wide variety of plants. "By the way Twilight," Applejack began, "ya never did finish tellin' me what all these plants're for."

"These are all herbs that grow in the forest. I wanted to study them and find out what their effects are."

"Well if ya wanted to know 'bout plants, why didn'tcha ask me? I know a thing or two about plants. And Fluttershy uses all kinds of herbs when she's helpin' her animals."

"I know, but these herbs are different- they're supposed to have all kinds of magical properties that-"

Suddenly there was a loud screech, louder than anything the two had ever heard before, followed by a horrific-sounding smash. From the volume, the source of the sound must have been somewhere nearby. "Ya hear that?" Applejack asked.

"Yeah," Twilight replied. "Let's go see what it was."

"What're ya, crazy? Who knows what could've made that noise?"  
>"I know we don't come here often, but I don't think that's normal, even for here. We should go take a look- someone might be hurt."<p>

"Well… alright, but I still don't like this." The two moved through the trees, towards the source of the sounds. After a minute or two, they began to hear voices, indistinct at first, but they grew clearer as they moved forward.

"…so, how's it looking so far?" one of the voices asked- a male voice.

"As far as I can tell the front axle is alright, so we have _some_ good news at least," another voice replied- this one was also male, and sounded a good deal more chipper than his companion.

A much deeper voice asked, "Shouldn't we check if the engine is working?"

"We'll get to that in a sec. Just let me finish checking things down here. Okay, that looks good…"

Twilight and Applejack finally came to the source of the voices- a small group of animals standing around something neither of them had ever seen before. It looked like a cart, but was radically different- it was a massive blocky thing, standing atop four large black wheels, seemingly made of metal painted sandy beige. The front end was smashed against a tree, bits of metal and glass sticking out at random angles. There didn't seem to be a yoke, and in any case, the cart appeared far too heavy to be pulled. Twilight's attention was soon drawn to an intimidating looking device on the top of the cart. She couldn't identify it, but the long, slender machine seemed to have bad news written all over it.

She then realized that there was somepony meant to be operating the machine. No, not somepony, just some _one_: a creature with long, shaggy light gray fur, yellow eyes, and a short snout full of long, sharp teeth. Thanks to her studies, Twilight was able to identify the creature as a wolf.

Twilight then took notice of the other animals that were present. There were four others, all standing around the cart: after the wolf, Twlight spotted what appeared to be a very, _very_ large scorpion, sitting in the front of the crashed cart. Next the scorpion, leaning against the side of the cart, was a golden-eyed, brown feathered falcon. Standing a short distance away from the falcon stood a large, heavyset ape with a patch of silver fur on his back- a gorilla. The last animal, standing apart from the others, was a dark red pony with a black mane- he stood with his back toward Twilight and Applejack, keeping them from getting a good look at his face.

"Okay, I'm almost done. So far everything looks okay," the chipper voice said. It didn't seem to come from any of the animals present- rather, it seemed to come from somewhere underneath the cart. "I'm surprised there's no damage under here."

"Well, I'm sure the rest of the Humvee would be in perfect shape if _somebody_ hadn't been fooling around while I was driving… _Leon_," the scorpion replied- Twilight recognized his voice as the first she and Applejack had heard as they approached.

The voice from under the "Humvee," _Leon_, asked, "Ocho, are you implying that this is my fault?"

The scorpion, "Ocho," snapped back, "Oh, I'm not implying anything. I'm _telling_ you this was your fault."

"_What!_ You can't be serious! It's not like I grabbed the wheel and steered us into this tree!"

"_Yes, that's totally what you did!_ Your foot got caught in the steering wheel and drove us right into it!"

The wolf then said, "What were you doing crawling around in the front seat of the Humvee anyway, Leon?" The wolf had a slight accent, but not one either Applejack or Twilight could place.

"Well don't blame me!" Leon said. "If anything's to blame, it's your guys' terrible taste in music."

"What does that have to do with anything?" the gorilla asked in a deep voice.

Before she realized what she was doing, Twilight slowly began to inch toward the group, watching in pure fascination. Unfortunately, her hoof came down on a twig, snapping it with a loud, dry crack- instantly, the group's attention snapped towards her and Applejack. Immediately, the wolf turned the machine to his front and aimed it at the two. "Come out," he said, "and keep your paws where I can see them."

Afraid of what these strangers might do to them, but even more afraid of what might happen if they didn't comply, Twilight cautiously stepped out into the open, followed by Applejack. All the animals present (with the exception of "Leon") regarded them carefully, including the pony who had his back turned toward them earlier. The two could now see that he wore a featureless metal mask that completely hid his features- even his eyes were invisible, hidden behind thick black lenses. He stared at them silently for several moments, before holding out his foreleg- in response, the wolf aimed the machine away from Twilight and Applejack. The pony then brought his hoof up to his head in a salute.

"My name is Captain Reginald Jennet, of Falkanian Army Expeditionary Team 8," he said stiffly, speaking for the first time. "My team and I have been sent on a mission to establish positive diplomatic relations with neighboring countries on the behalf of our government."

Several moments passed in silence. "Oh! Um, h-hello… Captain," Twilight began uncertainly. "I… I'm Twilight Sparkle. And this is my friend, Applejack." The two smiled nervously at the group.

"You don't have to call me Captain. You can just call me 'Red,' if you'd like." Red turned toward his companions. "I'll introduce you to the rest of my team." He started by pointing his hoof to the falcon. "This is my second-in-command and team sniper Lieutenant Hawkeye." Hawkeye glanced at the two briefly, before looking away; Red then pointed to the wolf. "Up there is our medic, Sergeant Lawrence." Lawrence waved a paw at them. "Over here is our heavy weapons expert, Corporal Silverback." Like Hawkeye, Silverback glanced at the two for a moment before looking away. "And the one in the Humvee is our driver, Private Ocho."

"Private First Class now, Captain," Ocho said.

"Right. Our last member is a little preoccupied at the moment- I'll get him." Red bent down and looked under the Humvee. "Leon… Leon! Come out here and meet the locals."

"First you tell me to fix the car, and now you're telling me to meet some locals. Make up your mind already!" Leon didn't come out right away; instead, a long, scaly green tail emerged from under the Humvee. Twilight panicked at once. "_Aaah!_ Snake, _snake!_" She turned and ran; however, Applejack bit down on her tail, preventing her from running away.

"Hey, now that's impolite. I'm not a snake." Leon finally emerged from the underside of the "Humvee." Sure enough, just as he had said, he wasn't a snake- instead, he was a rather large lizard with large round eyes, two large horns, and a ridge of spines growing across his back. Twilight identified him as a chameleon; then, seemingly as if to prove this fact, Leon's scales briefly flashed a broad number of colors, before returning to their original green. A few moments later, he crawled back under the Humvee.

"We were passing through this forest when we had a… slight accident," Red then said- his voice no longer held the stiffness of before. "So, I need to ask you, is there anywhere nearby where we can take it for repairs?"

Twilight didn't respond. Even though the outside appeared simple, she got the feeling that the "Humvee" was far more complex than it looked. Twilight doubted that there was anypony in Ponyville with the expertise required to help fix it- for that matter, there may be only one pony in all of Equestria who _might_ have such skill.

Red read Twilight's expression and said "…I'll take that as a no. Leon?" He looked back. "Do you think you can repair the damage by yourself?"

"Well, I'll have to take a look under the hood first, but as long as the engine isn't too banged up, I'm pretty sure I can fix everything on my own."

"Good. In that case…" He turned his attention back towards Twilight and Applejack. "Is there anywhere we can put this for safekeeping?"

* * *

><p>"Come on you lazy dopes, <em>push!<em>" Leon yelled.

Ocho peered out the Humvee's window and replied, "I don't see you doing any pushing back there, string-bean."

"Well I don't see you back here helping us either, Ocho!"

"Someone's gotta steer this brick-on-wheels, and I don't trust you enough to handle it."

"Guys, enough!" Red said. "Leon, come over here and help us push. Ocho, keep your eyes on the road."

The team was slowly pushing the Humvee down the road toward Ponyville- the engine refused to start. Applejack had agreed, reluctantly, to let them keep the Humvee in the barn at Sweet Apple Acres, for the time being. Applejack and Twilight walked in front of the group, guiding them to the farm. "Well…" Twilight began, "…today certainly turned out to be a very… _interesting_ day, don't you think so Applejack?"

"Yeah… I guess ya could say that…" Applejack replied. "But _interestin'_ wasn't exactly the word I had in mind."

"Well, it isn't every day that foreigners come here to visit. But, they seem okay. What do you think of them, Applejack?"

"I ain't been around 'em long enough to have an opinion yet." The two looked back- the group's conversation had segued into an argument about who snored the loudest at night. "But, if ya think they're alright, then I'll believe ya Twilight."

Suddenly, an object appeared in the sky above Ponyville, racing toward them. It stopped in the air just in front of them, revealing itself to be a pegasus with blue fur and a rainbow mane- Rainbow Dash. "What's up guys?" she asked casually, landing on the ground. "And who are they?" She pointed to the group pushing the Humvee.

"Twilight thinks they're foreigners," Applejack answered.

"Why don't you go around and introduce yourself, Rainbow?" Twilight said. "They're a little strange, but they seem to be okay."

"Yeah I guess," she said, hiding her excitement. Foreigners? Rainbow had met a lot of people over the years, but only a very small number came from beyond Equestria's borders. She circled to the back of the Humvee, to find the five animals straining against it with all their might. Strange was right- she'd never seen such a diverse group gathered in one place before. "Oh hey, another local!" Leon said excitedly. "Everyone say hi to the local!" He then immediately said in a much lower voice, "Hi, local."

"Come on Leon, help us," Hawkeye said, pushing against the Humvee with his whole body. "These legs aren't _made_ for _pushing!_"

Rainbow looked at the falcon with growing excitement- it had been a good long while since she had somebody new to challenge to a race. "Hey bird!" she called. "You look like you might be a pretty good flyer- how 'bout a race?"

"Sorry," he began, still pushing, "I'd love to… but I'm a little… _preoccupied_ at the moment."

Rainbow was a little disappointed at first, but then had a wicked idea. "Oh I get it- you're scared, aren't you?"

"Excuse me?" That did the trick- Hawkeye stopped pushing the Humvee and turned his attention toward the blue pegasus.

"You heard me! You're scared because I could totally whip you in a race!"

"Well then, I hope that you won't mind proving that."

Rainbow trotted right up to Hawkeye. "Hah, anytime, anywhere."

"Alright then, I challenge you to a race- right here, right now."

"You're on." Rainbow smirked. "This'll be easy."

Hawkeye smirked right back. "You're gonna eat those words, horse."

"Not if I make you eat them first, birdbrain! Ready? Three, two, one… _go!_" And in the blink of an eye, they were gone.

After a few moments, Ocho leaded out the Humvee's window and said to Twilight and Applejack, "I hope your friend knows what she's getting into. Hawkeye is one of the fastest flyers in all of Falkania."

"No, not one of the fastest…" Leon replied, "…_the_ fastest."

"Guys come on, we need to keep moving," Red said. And the group resumed pushing.

Before long, the group had managed to reach Ponyville's town square. The team (at least those who were present) would've preferred to stay out of town, so as not to be so intrusive, but Twilight and Applejack insisted that cutting through Ponyville was the fastest way to reach Sweet Apple Acres. The group got plenty of strange looks as they passed. Before long, the streets were lined with ponies- it seemed that every pony in Ponyville had gathered to get a glimpse of the strangers and their odd machine. The group could hear snatches of conversation as they passed by:

"…is the circus in town?"

"…I've never seen an animal like that before…"

"Look, there's a scorpion sitting in the front…"

"By Celestia, he's huge!"

"…that pony with them doesn't have a cutie mark…"

As they walked, Twilight said, "I'm gonna see how those guys are doing. I'll be right back." She slowed down, falling back to walk alongside the guys. "So, how are you all holding up?" she asked.

"Alright, I suppose," Red replied. "Does this always happen when you get visitors?" He tilted his head toward the still-growing crowd.

"Not really, no." As a matter of fact, the only thing that could draw crowds like this was a visit from Princess Celestia herself. "But don't worry, that just means-"

"Twilight? Twilight Sparkle, is that you?" A voice called from behind. Twilight looked to see a white unicorn trotting toward her- she noticed the unicorn had a new, navy-blue scarf wrapped around her neck.

"Uh, hi Rarity. What brings-"

"Oh my!" Rarity exclaimed. She paced alongside the Humvee, looking at it as though it were some kind of monster. "What in the name of Celestia is this… _this_… I-I don't think there's even a word for it!"

"Are you saying that it's ugly?" Ocho asked, poking his head out the Humvee's window.

Rarity recoiled, from a combination of both surprise and horror. "Oh! Um… well, I… it's just…"

Ocho sighed. "These things are reliable, but yeah, I know it's ugly. There's a reason why we call it the Big Ugly Rolling Fu-"

"_Anyway_…" Twilight interrupted. "What brings you out here, Rarity? Did you come to watch the show too?"

"Actually, I just finished putting together this _darling_ little scarf, and I simply had to show it to you." She posed a bit, to better show off her creation. "Now tell me, is it lovely? Or is it… _magnificent_?"

"Personally, I think it's the wrong color," one of the guys said; the slight accent confirmed the voice as belonging to the wolf, "Lawrence."

"I beg your pardon?" Rarity asked, incredulous.

"It's spring, isn't it? I always thought spring was a time for… _nng… pastel colors_."

"Well I never!" Rarity huffed. "I didn't work my hooves off to make this scarf absolutely perfect just to hear some _dog_ insult my work!" In truth though, she thought that perhaps she should have gone with a _slightly_ lighter shade of blue.

Just then, there was a sudden uproar in the crowd; they could hear voices shouting and then a loud crash, followed by the sounds of a crying child. "Oh dear," Lawrence said, before leaving the others; he then leapt into the Humvee through its rear windows, and began searching around for something.

"Hey, Lawrence what are you doing? Ocho asked.

"Duty calls," Lawrence said. He then slung a bag with a red cross sewn onto it across his back. He then jumped out the Humvee's window and headed toward the crowd. Red called out to him "L-Lawrence, wait!"

"Don't worry Captain, I'll catch up with you later!" he called back, before disappearing into the crowd. A moment passed before Rarity galloped after him. "You come back!" she called out. "I'm not finished giving you a piece of my mind!"

Despite their missing teammate, the group continued on, though a fair bit slower than before. The crowd had dissipated not too long before, although their passing brought plenty of curious stares and the occasional onlooker. Leon sniffed the air a few times, and said out loud, "Oh man, something smells good." Indeed, the air was filled with the scent of freshly baked pastries, and Twilight and Applejack soon realized why; Sugarcube Corner was just up ahead, and the group would be passing by it in a few short minutes. It wasn't long though until the two ponies saw a familiar pink pony bouncing down the road toward them. "Oh no…" Twilight said.

"_**Hi!**_" Pinkie Pie shouted excitedly. "What are you guys doing? And what's that thing behind you?"

"Well, to make a long story short, we're lendin' these guys a hand," Applejack replied.

"Neat! Can I go meet them?" Pinkie flashed the two a winning smile.

"Uh, sure," Twilight said. "Just, don't bug them too much- they've been through kind of a lot today."

"I won't." She began to trot to the rear of the Humvee, stopping instantly when she spotted Ocho. "Oh wow, a scorpion! How did you get so big? And what's that thing you're riding in? Where are you from?"

"Hey, can't you see I'm driving here?" Ocho asked. "If you want to ask questions, you should ask the Captain- he's around the back." So, Pinkie continued, unprepared for what awaited her.

Pinkie gasped, leaping into the air, seeming to hang there for several seconds. When she touched the ground, she began asking a flurry of questions. "Wow there are more of you! Hey Mr. Lizard, can you grow your tail back if you lose it? And can you change colors? Do you like bananas, Mr. Monkey? Because I can make some good banana bread. Hey Mr. Pony, why don't you have a cutie mark? I thought all ponies got one. And what's the mask for? Are you hiding something? You can tell me if you are because I'm good at keeping secrets. Why's your scorpion friend so big?"

Red brought his hoof up to the side of his head. "Ugh, slow down- you're giving me a headache."

"Well I don't know about you, but I like this one already," Leon said. He stopped pushing and approached the pink pony, holding out a claw to her. "My name's Leon. What's yours?"

Pinkie unhesitatingly put her hoof in Leon's claw and shook wildly. "I'm Pinkie Pie! It's nice to meet you Leon! Cupcake?" She then reached back and pulled out a cupcake seemingly from nowhere.

"Uh… sure, thanks." He took a small bite out of it, before devouring the rest of the cupcake ravenously. "Wow, that's gotta be the cupcake I've ever eaten!"

"Leon, get back over here and help us push," Red then said.

"Okay…" Leon sighed, and resumed pushing. A minute or two later, the Humvee slowly rolled past the bakery. "Hey Captain, look at that!" Leon said, pointing to it. "Man, I really could go for a pie right now. Can we stop and get one?"

"How are we supposed to do that without any money?" Red asked.

"I can pay for it!" Pinkie said.

"Really?" Leon asked.

"Really really."

"Really really _really_?"

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." The most solemn of Pinkie Pie's promises- once it was made, under no circumstances could it ever, _ever_ be broken.

"_Alright!_" Without another word, Leon sped off to Sugarcube Corner, with Pinkie Pie skipping after him.

"_Leon, come back!_" Ocho yelled, half-climbing out of the Humvee. "_We need you to fix the car!_" He let out a sigh and sat back down, "Oh, forget it…"

"Well, it's just you and me Joe," Red then said to Silverback." Let's keep going before one of us gets dragged off too."

* * *

><p>Well over an hour after they had started, the group finally reached Sweet Apple Acres. "Alright, finally," Applejack said, relieved. "C'mon folks, we're almost there!" Upon hearing this, the pony and gorilla pushed with all the strength they could muster, and in mere minutes, the Humvee came to a rest in the barn. When it reached its destination, Red and Silverback collapsed, struggling to catch their breath.<p>

"I didn't think… I had that much… energy left in me," Red huffed.

"Neither did I," Silverback replied.

"There you are, Applejack," a voice then said. "I was startin' to get worried about'cha." Another pony stepped into the barn- a very tall, bright red pony with an orange mane, wearing a heavy-looking horse collar.

"Hey Big Macintosh," Applejack replied. "Sorry I took so long- I was out lendin' a hand to these folks." There was a brief pause. "So, you finish the plantin' yet?"

Big Macintosh shook his head. "Not yet. We tried our best, but at this rate, we won't finish plantin' 'til sometime tomorrow."

"Alright, I'll be right out there." She began to take off her bags as Big Macintosh left the barn.

Silverback looked down at Applejack with interest. "Planting? Perhaps I could be of assistance to you."

Applejack set her bags on the ground. "Look, ya don't need to worry about us. We can handle things just fine by ourselves."

"But it's partly our fault that your planting has fallen behind. Please, allow me to help you."

"I just said ya don't hafta-"

"I insist."

A moment passed before Applejack relented. "Well, if it helps ya feel better. C'mon on, then." She then left the barn, with Silverback following.

Ocho climbed out of the Humvee a few seconds later. "So, what should we do now, Captain?" he asked, stretching all of his legs.

"I'm not sure," Red replied. "Leon's the only one who can make repairs, so I guess we'll have to go find him."

"Are you sure? You know how he gets- I think it would be better for us to just wait for him."

"Yeah, I guess that's true- I remember the last time…"

As Twilight watched the two's conversation, she suddenly had an idea. "Why don't I show you guys around Ponyville?" she asked. "After all, who knows how long you might be staying here?"

"That's actually not a bad idea," Ocho replied. He looked over to Red. "What do you think, Captain?"

"I agree- a tour would be a good way for us to spend the afternoon, and maybe even establish a good reputation with the people here." Red then turned to Twilight. "We think that would be an excellent idea. Let's go."

"Okay. Would you mind lending me a hoof with this bag? I can't get it by myself…" After a moment, the three exited the barn, with Ocho carrying Applejack's bags, and set out down the road leading back into town. After a few minutes of walking however, something emerged from the bushes lining the path- a yellow pegasus, with a long pink mane. She retreated ever so slightly when she saw the group.

"Hello there Fluttershy," Twilight said. "What are you doing all the way out here?"

"…Oh, well," she began timidly, "…I was looking for Rainbow Dash- she was supposed to help me with something earlier."

"Wait, are you talking about that blue pegasus?" Ocho asked. "Because she and Hawkeye are racing right now- knowing him, he's probably still going." At that moment, as though on cue, a loud _crack_, like a thunderbolt, sounded somewhere in the distance. "Oh yeah, he's still going."

Fluttershy suddenly backed away when Ocho spoke. It took several moments for her to reply, "…oh, okay… I guess I'll have to do it by myself."

"What are you doing right now?" Twilight asked.

"I'm looking for ginger root- it's a good cure for stomachaches." She then noticed the herbs in Twilight's bag, a sudden look of realization dawning on her face. "That's right, you had Zecora get a bunch of herbs for you! Do you have any?" She smiled hopefully.

"Sorry, but I don't have any ginger root," Twilight apologized. "I didn't ask Zecora for any."

Fluttershy cast her eyes down. "Oh… that's okay then. I'll find some on my own…"

"Maybe we could help you," Ocho said. He then looked to Red and asked, "That would be okay, right Captain?" Red nodded.

"Yeah, maybe one of you could help her," Twilight said; she then looked over to the pegasus. "What do you think Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy said nothing in reply. A few moments passed before Ocho said, "Uh, Captain, I think you should go with the pegasus."

Red looked down at his comrade. "Are you sure?"

"Well look at her- she looks like she'd have a heart attack if I went anywhere near her." Indeed, Fluttershy was staring directly at Ocho from behind her mane, fear plainly evident in her eyes. "I'll stick with, uh…" He turned to Twilight. "Your name was Twilight, wasn't it?" She nodded- he turned back to Red. "Yeah, I'll stay with Twilight. Sorry to put you on the spot like this, Captain." Red did not reply. "Uh… I guess I'll see you later then." So, Twilight and Ocho continued onward, leaving Red and Fluttershy standing alone in the road.


	2. Hawkeye

**Chapter II: Hawkeye**

Two almost-invisible blurs streaked across the sky high above Ponyville. Rainbow Dash had managed to pull ahead at the very beginning of the race, but the falcon had stayed right on her tail the whole time, almost literally. No matter how fast she flew, no matter how many times she banked, dove, climbed, and spiraled, he stayed right behind, never giving up even an inch.

Rainbow Dash had to admit, she was impressed. This falcon was one of the best flyers she had ever raced against. He was just as good as she was. Maybe… just maybe… better. She didn't mind that in the least. As a matter of fact, it was perfect- after all, it wouldn't have been fun if it wasn't a challenge.

Behind, Hawkeye was growing impatient. No matter how much speed he picked up, he just couldn't seem to pass up that Pegasus. He couldn't lie- she was far better than he expected. She was good… but he was the best. And he knew exactly how to prove it. He began to climb into the sky, rising higher and higher; he was going to need a lot of space if he was going to pull this off properly. The pegasus was starting to put some distance between herself and him. He smirked again- that was just fine. He couldn't wait to see the look on her face when he passed her up.

After a short while, Hawkeye reached his desired altitude- he began to feel a little lightheaded, the air being so thin that high up. But he needed all the space he could get. Far below, he could just make out the blue blur that was the pegasus- doing some quick math, he calculated her path, lining up hers over his own. With that done, he let out a cry, and with a strong flap of his wings, began speeding toward the pegasus. He was rapidly gaining speed- not enough to catch up with the pegasus just yet, but it was a good start. Before long, he was flying faster than he would ever be able to under his own power- he only occasionally flapped his wings, to keep himself straight on his path. A cone of condensation was building up right in front of him- at this point, Hawkeye was moving so fast he could barely open his eyes. He wished he'd remembered to grab his goggles. The strain he felt on his body was tremendous- it was though the air itself was forming a wall, trying to hold him back. It would fail though. It had failed before, and it would fail again here. His body shook from the force exerted on it- it was time. Hawkeye gritted his teeth, and pushed himself forward again with another strong flap of his wings.

There was a sudden jolt… and then everything became smooth. He passed through the cone that had formed in front of him. Now that it was behind him, he could see everything clearly now. He tucked his wings against his body- he wouldn't need them for a little while. Hawkeye shot towards the pegasus, a broad smile on his face.

From somewhere behind her sounded loud _crack_, like a thunderbolt, making Rainbow Dash's ears ring. She looked back- the falcon was rapidly speeding towards her like a bullet, a massive cloud trailing him. At his rate, he would pass her up in only seconds. There was no way that she could pull off a Sonic Rainboom before he passed her- but then she thought, if she couldn't match him in speed, maybe she could outmaneuver him. She banked hard to the left and looked back. To her shock, he banked just as hard as she had, without slowing down for even a second.

Hawkeye realized just how serious of a mistake he made when the world suddenly turned on its side. He tried to right himself but failed, completely unable to discern which way was up. The world was spinning; he extended his wings and flapped furiously, trying to slow himself down, to no avail. Before long, the blue of the sky disappeared, replaced by the greens and browns of the ground. He was out of time- all he could do now was brace for impact and hope for the best.

Rainbow Dash knew something wasn't quite right once the falcon started barrel-rolling wildly after his turn. Then, to her horror, he began to drop out of the sky, his wings flapping wildly in a futile attempt to slow himself down. Only a few seconds later, he crashed headfirst into the ground. The impact threw him into the air again, and he slammed into the ground again, this time on his back- she could only watch helplessly as he tumbled across the ground over and over again, his body flopping like a ragdoll. Eventually, he came to a stop, lying motionless on the ground- several seconds passed, but he remained utterly still. Rainbow Dash turned and dived, speeding towards the falcon as fast as she could, the race completely forgotten.

Hawkeye lay on the ground for a few moments, unmoving. Then, he slowly rolled onto his back- everything hurt (most of all, his pride), but as far as he could tell, he hadn't been seriously injured in the crash. That had been very dumb of him. He knew what happened when he pulled off a sonic boom- he knew that the shock threw off his sense of balance. It came back after a few seconds, but Hawkeye knew that during that time, he'd have to take turns slowly… or better yet, not take any turns at all. But, he was still alive and mostly intact, and for that he was grateful- so, he lay on his back, staring up at the sky, waiting for the world to stop spinning.

He soon heard the sound of hoofs racing toward him, followed by the pegasus's voice chanting, "…ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh…" She suddenly skidded to a stop at the top of his vision. "Oh my gosh, are you okay! Are you hurt!"

"I hurt my pride a little bit, but other than that, I'm fine," he replied with a small smile.

"But that was the worse crash I've ever seen! Are you sure?" She began to trot around him, examining his body for injuries.

With difficulty, he brought up his wing and waved her away. "It wasn't nearly as bad as it looked. Trust me; I've been in crashes a lot worse than this one." That much was true, but then again, he hadn't been in many crashes that didn't involve being shot or having something explode right next to him. "Why don't you lie down with me? I think both of us could use a rest."

At his comment, Rainbow suddenly realized at that moment just how exhausted she was; replying simply "You got that right," she flopped down onto the grass and rolled on her back. She stared up at the sky, with her head touching his. After a moment, she said, "You really surprised me. I didn't think you'd be such a good flyer."

"You're not too bad yourself. Looks like I underestimated you."

"Well don't feel too bad- I _am_ the best flyer in all of Ponyville… maybe even all of Equestria."

"You gave _me_ some serious trouble, and I'm the best flyer in Falkania. I know that for a fact."

She looked up at him. "How can you be so sure?"

"I hold the record for the fastest completion time _ever_ for the Golden Wings Air Race."

"Oh really? And what exactly is that?"

"Oh it's not much… it's only the oldest, longest, and most brutal air race in all of Falkania."

Rainbow Dash loved to hear about this sort of thing; she rolled onto her stomach, giving the falcon her full and undivided attention. "How long is it?"

The hurting had stopped, letting Hawkeye sit up and look back at her. "The race stretches all the way across Falkania, from Dos Serpentes in the west to Point Lookout on the east coast. In all, that's a distance of about… three hundred miles."

"_Wow_. And how long does it take to finish it?"

"If you're going at a decent speed, you can fly through the whole course in about six hours or so. …I finished the whole thing in one hour, twenty eight minutes, sixteen seconds. I set that record eight years ago and to this day, it's never been broken.

"Well, if you say so." She tried to pass it off as nothing, but Rainbow Dash couldn't help but be impressed- if what he said was true, then this guy was easily one of the best flyers she had ever met. Aside from her, of course. "You know, I just realized I didn't introduce myself earlier. My name's Rainbow Dash. What's yours?"

"Lieutenant Hawkeye, at your service. But you can just call me Hawkeye."

"That's a pretty sweet nickname. But, what's your real name? If it's embarrassing, I promise I won't laugh. And I'll still call you 'Hawkeye' if you want."

"Hawkeye _is_ my real name."

Rainbow Dash laughed. "Come on, quit pulling my leg- what's your real name?" Hawkeye didn't reply, and simply stared at her. "Wait, you're serious? Your real name is _Hawkeye_?" Hawkeye nodded. "That has got to be… the third or fourth coolest thing I have ever heard."

"Yeah, nobody else believed me at first either." Hawkeye stood up.

Rainbow stood up as well. "Whoa, hold on a second- are you sure you should be standing up just yet?"

Hawkeye stretched out his wings. "I'll be fine. Like I said, I've lived through worse." He rolled his shoulders, causing a few pops to sound from them. "So, what should we do now?"

"Uh… I guess I could show you around Ponyville. How's that sound?"

"Guess it couldn't hurt." Hawkeye stretched out his wings, flexing them a few times, before taking to the air; Rainbow Dash did the same a few moments later. The two had ended up some ways away from Ponyville, far beyond the outer edge of Sweet Apple Acres- it would take some time for them to get back.

The two flew in silence for a few moments before Rainbow Dash called out to him, "So Hawkeye, what are you and those other guys doing here?"

Hawkeye replied, "Officially, our mission is 'to establish positive diplomatic relations with neighboring countries on the behalf of our government.'"

"So you guys are like… um…" The word was right on the tip of her tongue, but she just couldn't remember it.

"Ambassadors?" _That_ was the word she was looking for. "Something like that, I guess." He passed for a moment, before asking, "So Rainbow Dash, what exactly does the best flyer in Equestria do around here for a living?"

"I help to control the weather in Ponyville."

"You can do that around here?"

"Well yeah? Don't they do it where you're from?"

"No."

"Wait, so how does the weather work then?"

"It just… kinda _happens_."

"Wait, so, you don't schedule when it rains? It just happens whenever it feels like it? …How can you live like that! Don't you have pegasi where you're from?"

"Of course we do, they just don't… actually, they _do_ control the weather, but only in the really big cities. Everyone else in Falkania just has to get used to it."

Rainbow Dash was silent for a few moments. "Man, this 'Falkania' place sounds really weird. …How about you? What do you do?"

"I'm a soldier."

"Really? Wouldn't sending soldiers give ponies the wrong idea? I mean, what if they thought you were invading?"

"Well, let me put it this way: does it seem like a good idea to send unarmed civilians into unexplored and possibly hostile territory?" She had to admit, he did have a point. "And that's not including all the dangerous monsters that we found on the way here to begin with."

However, Rainbow Dash's attention was now focused elsewhere. They were passing over Sweet Apple Acres now, and she couldn't help but notice a scooter being pushed up the road leading to the farm. Ordinarily, she would've paid it no mind, if it weren't for the fact that a certain orange pegasus wasn't at the front. Curious, she began to descend. Even from their distance, Hawkeye could see the moving object as well- a scooter being pushed by a yellow foal. The scooter was pulling a wagon with an orange and a white foal riding inside. It was then that he noticed that Rainbow Dash descending- from a combination of curiosity and having nowhere else to go, he began to descend as well.

Rainbow Dash landed on the ground in front of the scooter, followed by Hawkeye. "Hey Rainbow!" said the yellow filly excitedly- Rainbow recognized her as Applejack's little sister, Applebloom. At the mention of Rainbow Dash, the orange filly ducked down, trying her best not to be seen. "Who's that? A friend of yers?"

"Hey there squirt," Rainbow replied. "This is Hawkeye- he's new in town and I was just getting to know him. Anyway, what's up? I thought Scootaloo was always the driver."

The white unicorn riding in the wagon- Rarity's little sister Sweetie Belle- answered. "Scootaloo crashed and hurt herself," she said- the orange pegasus curled up in a ball, as though doing so would somehow make her invisible.

Rainbow couldn't help but feel a pang of pity for the young pegasus, much to her surprise. "Could you guys hold up for just a minute? I wanna see if I can help her feel better." Both Applebloom and Sweetie Belle nodded, and Rainbow Dash trotted to the wagon.

Scootaloo uncurled from her fetal position- hiding would do her no good now. It was evident that the orange pegasus had been crying, but she was doing her best to put on a brave face now that she was in the presence of her idol. "Hey Rainbow," Scootaloo said, trying her best to sound casual.

"So, I heard you hurt yourself. Let's see it." She held up her rear left leg, wincing in pain- her ankle was swollen, with a strip of dark blue fabric wrapped around it. "She sprained her ankle," the unicorn continued, "so we're taking her back to the clubhouse to help her feel better." She and Applebloom brought up their hooves and shouted, "_Cutie Mark Crusader Doctors! Yay!_" Scootaloo neglected to join them.

"What, a sprained ankle? That's all? Aw, that's nothing! Just put some ice on, and in a few days you'll be as good as new!"

"Really?" Scootaloo asked, wincing again as she put her leg back down.

"Yeah! Besides, injuries build character!"

As this occurred, Applebloom looked up at the strange falcon standing in front of her. "So, your name's Hawkeye?" Hawkeye nodded. "Where're ya from, Mister Hawkeye?"

"Far away," he replied. Before she could ask him anything else, he then said, "You guys should probably get going- the sooner you help your friend, the-"

Something caught his attention. "Hold on, let me have a look at that." Scootaloo obligingly held out her leg, and Hawkeye drew himself close to inspect the wrap- after a few moments, he mumbled to himself, "Hmm… I don't know why he didn't use gauze, but this is definitely Lawrence's handiwork."

"Lawrence?" Sweetie Belle asked. "You mean you know that big dog?"

"Technically, Lawrence is a wolf, not a dog. But yes, I know him."

"Is he a doctor?"

"Come on Sweetie Belle, of course he's a doctor!" Applebloom said. "I mean, he fixed up Scootaloo's leg, right?" She adjusted her helmet- it was a little uncomfortable, since Scootaloo's head was a little smaller than hers. "We should go- Mister Lawrence said we should get ice for Scootaloo's ankle as soon as we could." She began to push the scooter down the road again. "Sorry Rainbow, we gotta go. It was nice to meet you Mister Hawkeye!" She and the other fillies waved as they rolled down the road.

Rainbow Dash and Hawkeye waved back. "Good luck!" Rainbow called. "And try not to crash again!" Hawkeye called out after her, "Whatever Lawrence told you to do, do it! He knows what he's talking about!" The Cutie Mark Crusaders disappeared amongst the trees. After a few moments, Rainbow Dash looked over at Hawkeye and asked, "Who's Lawrence?"

"He's our team medic," Hawkeye replied. "If he tells you something, you do it. Well technically I outrank him and, so does Red, but if he tells you something that has to do with your health, you do it."

Curious, Rainbow Dash asked, "Who else is on your team?"

"Well, like I mentioned, there's Red, our captain- he's the horse with the scary blank mask. Don't let that fool you though- he and I have been friends for a long time, and he's a good guy. Then there's-" He was interrupted by the sound of an explosion emanating from somewhere in the town. After a few moments, Hawkeye said, "…then, there's Leon, our mechanic and resident troublemaker. You always have to be ready for anything when he's around…"

With that, Hawkeye and Rainbow Dash took to the air again and flew the rest of the way to the town.


	3. Lawrence

**Chapter III: Lawrence**

Lawrence charged through the crowd to the source of the crying- the crowd parted to let him pass, though whether it was because they recognized him as a doctor or simply the fear of being run down, he couldn't say. It didn't matter though. Either way, the crowd let him pass, which suited his purposes just fine.

A few moments later, he arrived at the source of the crying- a young orange pegasus with her back pressed against a nearby building, cradling an ankle in her hooves. A pair of fillies, presumably her friends, stood in front of her and spoke encouraging words, trying to calm her down- nearby, a scooter with a wagon attached lay abandoned in the street. After taking all of this in, it didn't take too long for Lawrence to conclude what had happened. He moved toward them.

"Alright, everyone remain calm." he said. At once, the two fillies back away in fear- the other one, lacking such mobility, pressed herself against the wall, as though it would make her less noticeable. He bent down to look her in the eye. "What happened?" he asked her. It took her several moments to reply. "My… my ankle…" she began, fighting through tears. "I… I think it's broken."

"Let me see it." She simply stared at him, motionless. "I can't help you if you don't let me examine your injury. Now please, let me see it." After a few moments, she reluctantly held out her left leg. Lawrence could see some rather serious swelling at her ankle- it _could_ be broken, like the filly said, but he'd have to examine it more closely to be sure. He placed a paw on her ankle and pushed down; she cried out in pain, and tried to pull her leg back. "I'm sorry, but I need to check if your ankle is actually broken," he said. "You understand, don't you?" The pegasus nodded, and bit down on her lip to keep from crying out as Lawrence resumed his examination.

The parting crowd made it easy for Rarity to keep up with the wolf. Though even if it hadn't been easy, it wouldn't have stopped her- she would have followed him to the ends of the earth if she had to until she gave him that piece of her mind. It didn't take long for her to catch up with him, but she wasn't quite prepared for the sight that awaited her. The wolf was sitting down in front of a young filly, pressing his paw down on her ankle- the filly, she realized, was Sweetie Belle's friend Scootaloo. Her anger abated for a moment as she watched the scene before her unfold.

"Alright," Lawrence began, taking away his paw. "It's only a sprain. But we're still going to need to take care of this right away." He dropped his bag on the ground and opened it. He searched inside for…

…Wait, where was all of his gauze?

He dug around his bag frantically, before remembering something. Oh, that's right. Leon had used all of it two days ago, acting out some _bizarre_ fantasy of his. He would have to improvise. He looked around for a suitable replacement; after a few moments, he spotted the unicorn with the navy-blue scarf from earlier. Wordlessly he stood up and charged her; she recoiled in fright, but Lawrence was still able to seize the scarf between his teeth.

Incredulous, she asked, "What in the world do you think you're doing?"

"I'm sorry, I need to borrow this," he said through gritted teeth, before yanking the scarf from her neck. He then held it against the ground with his paw, as he began to rip it apart with his teeth.

She stared in silence for several seconds, flabbergasted, before rage ignited in her heart. "You… _you __**brute**__!_" she screamed. "First you insult my work, and then you destroy it in front of my very eyes! What kind of monster are you!" Lawrence, however, paid her no mind. He took a long strip of fabric and ran back to the young pegasus. Then, with his paws and his mouth, he wrapped the fabric tightly around her ankle before tying it tight.

"I've done all I can for the moment," he said to the filly. "You should put some ice on your ankle as soon as you can and leave it for about ten minutes. Do that about three or four times every day until your ankle starts feeling better. Also, don't take off that wrap for a few hours- it'll keep the swelling from getting any worse." He paused for a moment. "Can you remember all that?" The filly nodded. "Good. Now, you should hurry home and get some ice." He then pointed a paw at the two fillies he believed were her friends. "You two should take her home- your friend is in no shape to be walking anywhere."

The anger completely evaporated from Rarity as she watched the wolf deftly wrap Scootaloo's injured ankle. The list of instructions he then gave her proved beyond a shadow of a doubt what he was- a doctor. How did she not realize that? She'd seen the red cross on his bag earlier, but she'd been so determined to lecture him on the difficulty of making that scarf that she'd completely ignored it. She suddenly understood why he did what he did- he most likely didn't have anything to wrap Scootaloo's ankle with.

But still, it wouldn't have hurt for him to ask permission before tearing her scarf to bits.

Lawrence slung his bag across his back as Sweetie Belle and Applebloom helped Scootaloo to the wagon. As they passed, Applebloom said to the wolf, "Thanks for helping my friend, Mister." He replied, "Think nothing of it." A few moments later, Applebloom pushed the scooter down the road, her two friends in tow, before disappearing in the crowd.

The wolf continued to look on for a few moments, before turning to Rarity. "I must apologize for your scarf," he said. "The situation needed to be handled quickly, and as I lacked the proper materials I needed to… improvise."

"That's… alright," Rarity replied, still feeling a little guilty for yelling at him. "Like you said, spring is a time for pastel colors." She paused for a moment, carefully considering her next words. "I can tell that you're not from around here. How would you like to walk with me? It seems that you could use the company."

"Well, I should get back with the rest of my team… but, I guess it couldn't hurt to see the town first. We might be here for a while." With that, Rarity began to walk down the street, the wolf at her side.

Rarity didn't really have anywhere for them to go in mind- the two simply wandered through the town aimlessly as Rarity pointed out this, and that, and that other thing to her companion. She had originally intended to show everpony in town her new scarf, but the wolf walking alongside her had derailed those plans. She wasn't upset with him though. Oh no, not in the least- in fact, she was rather glad to have met such a fascinating pony-er, _animal_. She'd met more than a few doctors before, but she'd never seen one work with such speed and precision. There was a certain grace to it, not unlike her own work. Watching him had been, in a word…

"…amazing…" she accidentally said under her breath.

"What's amazing?" he asked, looking toward her.

She quickly realized what she had done. "It's just… well, you're not a pony, but you still knew exactly what to do to help Scootaloo. Watching you work was… well, _amazing_."

He looked away. "My line of work requires me to have physiological knowledge for a great many number of animals. Wolves, horses, lions, crocodiles, birds, seals, snakes, giraffes-"

"I'm sorry, what was that last one?"

"You… don't know what a giraffe is?"

"I can't say that I do."

"I see. Hmm, how can I describe it in a way you'd understand? … I think all I need to say about a giraffe is that it has a very, _very_ long neck- you'd recognized one right away if you saw one."

"Wow… wherever you're from, it sounds a lot different from Ponyville. For that matter, it sounds a lot different from Equestria."

"Indeed. In truth, I don't think there's any nation quite like Falkania. On any given day you could walk down the streets of the capital city and see more animals than you could name."

"You talk about this Falkania like you're not from there."

"You'd be correct. I come from a region to the north of Falkania, a place called Lupus."

Rarity was just about to ask about this "Lupus" place when a thought occurred to her. "I'm terribly sorry, but I just realized that I haven't introduced myself. I'm Rarity. And you are?"

"Just call me Lawrence."

"Well then Lawrence, tell me more about Lupus."

"I come from the far northern reaches. It's very different from this place- there are no trees, and it's cold for nearly the entire year."

"There's no trees at all? What about other plants?"

"There are a few, but not many. At least, not in the north- the southern half of Lupus is more hospitable for plants."

"Living there sounds… difficult."

"Life in the northern reaches is indeed difficult. But you don't have to do it on your own- you have the rest of the clan to support you."

Rarity remembered from her schooling that wolves lived in packs, but still, she couldn't help but to ask, "Clans?"

"Indeed. The clans formed long ago when the packs that roamed Lupus banded together, for better protection. I myself come from one of these clans."

"May I ask-" At that moment something caught Rarity's eye. She looked back, to see Twilight walking with a… giant scorpion? Lawrence looked back as well. "It looks like Ocho's enjoying the town as well. He's our team driver."

"Ocho? That's a strange name."

"It's only a nickname- his real name is difficult to pronounce for non-arachnids, and a bit… unwieldy." He then mumbled at the end, "…much like my own."

Rarity heard that last part. "So 'Lawrence' is only a nickname as well? Do any of you go by your real names?"

Lawrence huffed. "…My real name is Lucian Aurelius Audentia."

"Well if that's the case, why didn't you just introduce yourself as Lucian?"

"Because 'Lucian' isn't my name. You see, names are different where I'm from. The first part of my name- 'Lucian-' is my clan name; as one might expect, those in a particular clan would have the same clan name. The second part, 'Aurelius,' is the name my parents gave me."

Before he could continue any further, Rarity asked, "Then… why not have people call you Aurelius? And how do you even get 'Lawrence' out of 'Aurelius' anyway?"

"As I said, it's rather unwieldy in conversation, and clarity is of the utmost importance in my line of work. To be honest, I don't remember who first called me 'Lawrence,' but it was simple and easy to remember, so it stuck."

"Oh…" While strange, Rarity didn't find that explanation too unreasonable… but then again, anything would sound reasonable in comparison to Pinkie Pie's recent claim of having been abducted by a UFO.

"…anyway, the last part of my name, 'Audentia,' is my family name. Not every member of the pack has a family- it's something that must be earned. It's a great honor for a clan leader to reward a family with their own name."

"How exactly would a family earn a name?"

"They earn a name either through many years of service to the clan, or by doing something… exceptional. For instance, for many generations, some of the most fearless warriors in our clan have come from my family- we earned the name Audentia long ago because of this."

"I see. So, how did you end up as-" Suddenly, the ground shook violently for a moment- both Lawrence and Rarity stumbled for a second, but they quickly recovered. "You felt that too right?" she asked.

"Yeah. Was it an earthquake?"

"Maybe, but-" The ground shook again, much more violently than before. Suddenly, there was a loud explosion- nearby, they could see a white cloud get tossed up into the air. However, the two couldn't help but notice that the cloud didn't act like a normal cloud- in fact it seemed to be… falling toward them! But before either of them could react, the cloud reached them, completely covering the two in a shower of strange, white goop.

For a few seconds, both were too shocked to speak. "My… _**my mane!**_" Rarity shrieked. "_It's ruined! My lovely, beautiful, perfectly coiffed…_"

As Rarity ranted about her mane, Lawrence brought up his paw and licked some of the white stuff; after tasting it, he said simply, "…vanilla pudding."


	4. Leon

**Chapter IV: Leon**

"…and that's how I saved the galaxy!" Pinkie Pie said excitedly. She was sitting at the front counter of Sugarcube Corner- next to her, Leon was ravenously devouring an apple pie. He was currently on his third.

Leon finished the last of the pie, belching loudly. "Oh man, this is some good pie," he said, wiping his mouth. "Anyway, you've got quite the imagination. You really should write that story down somewhere- you might be able to make it into a book or something."

"But I didn't make it up, silly! It really happened!"

"That doesn't mean you can't make it into a book." As he said this Pinkie Pie hopped behind the counter and pushed yet another pie in front of him. "Uh, no thanks, I think I've had enough." She put the pie back under the counter. "So do you have any other stories?"

"I've got tons and tons of stories!" She smiled. "What about you? Do you have any?"

"Me? Oh no, I don't have any stories like that. But I've heard lots of stories from other people- you know, old legends and stuff like that. I guess I could say that collecting them is a hobby of mine."

"Neat! What kind of stories have you heard?"

"Oh I've heard lots of stories. Like… uh, let me think… there's 'The Blacksmith's Apprentice.' That one's from back home. What else do I know? …Oh, there's 'Gunpowder Hill,' and 'The Lost City of Ainan' and 'The Journey of Ho-Oh, The Phoenix King,' and-"

"Ooh! I wanna hear that one!"

"And I'd love to tell it to you. The only thing is, if I started telling it to you right now, it would take me three whole days to finish, if we didn't do anything else."

"Aw…" she said disappointedly.

"If it helps you feel better, I can tell you what it's about." At this, the pink pony seemed to brighten, turning her full attention to the lizard. "Well, it's about this phoenix, named Ho-Oh. He's the king of a civilization in the mountains of a faraway land. He's always wanted to know about the outside world, because he's never been outside his royal palace. So one night, he sneaks out of his bedroom and flies over the palace wall. The rest of the story is about all the places he goes and all the animals he meets in his journey."

"Wow, sounds neat!" She paused for a brief moment. "Mister Leon," Pinkie began, "can I ask you something?"

"Sure. And just so you know, you don't have to call me 'Mister.' It makes me feel old."

"Okie dokie! Anyway, can you point your eyes in different directions?"

"Yeah- watch this." His right eye darted to the right while his left eye remained firmly locked on Pinkie. "Those muffins on that shelf are on sale." His left eye then looked back behind him. "You close at six." His right eye moved up to the ceiling. "You need to dust your rafters more often." Both eyes looked back at her. "You have a very lovely mane."

"Neat! I wish I could do that!" Without missing a beat, she then asked, "How did you get so big?" Pinkie had seen a chameleon before, but it hadn't been anywhere near as big as Leon- she couldn't help but notice that as they walked into Sugarcube Corner together, he stood a few inches taller than her on his back legs.

He rested his elbow on the counter. "Well to be honest with you, I don't really know the answer to that question. In fact, back home there are lots of animals that used to be small a long time ago but are really big now, and no one knows why."

"Wait, so there're giant monster rabbits where you're from?" An image of a giant bunny stomping on a city popped into Pinkie's head- she almost immediately began to act the scene out. "Rawr!" she yelled, crushing tiny invisible buildings under her hooves. "Bring me carrots! Giant carrots! Or I will eat your puny city!"

Leon laughed. "Sorry, we don't have anything like that. But you should write that down too."

She laughed, then fell silent for a moment. Pinkie Pie then asked, "Leon, could you help me with something?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

Ordinarily, Pinkie Pie planned and set up all her parties entirely on her own. It wasn't because she didn't like working with others- she loved working with others. But sometimes, they were just _so_ slow- she could do things much faster on her own. But sometimes, she needed a helping hand, if only for a little while. "I want you to help me throw a party!"

"A party?"

"Yeah! I throw a party for everypony who comes to Ponyville!"

"But the only horse in our group is Red. Does that mean that he's the only one who gets a party?"

"Of course not silly! This party is for you and all of your friends!"

That actually sounded like a lot of fun. "Okay. What do you need help with?"

"I need help baking, finding a place for the party, handing out invitations, baking- no, I already said that… well, I could bake some more stuff until the party starts."

"Cool, I've always wanted to try baking." He followed her into the kitchen. "Uh, do you need me to help you get things together?" he asked. She replied, "No, that's alright. I can get everything on my own." She disappeared behind a door, dragging a large bag of flour behind her when she reemerged- he thought nothing of it. He thought nothing of the second bag either. When she brought in a third bag, he grew a bit concerned. At the fourth, he finally asked her, "Um, Pinkie? Are we really going to be baking that much?"

"Well duh! I'm inviting everypony in town to your party! Do you know how many ponies I have to bake for?" She began to gather other things from around the kitchen. "Now, one quick question- do any of your friends have food allergies or anything like that?" After a certain incident in Fillydelphia, she'd taken up the habit of asking that question before baking anything for somepony she didn't know.

"No, but there is one thing I need to tell you- Lawrence and Hawkeye can't eat anything with chocolate in it. If they do, they'll… well, they'll die."

Well so much for that triple chocolate cake she'd been waiting for an excuse to make. That was okay- she could always make something else. Once she'd finished grabbing all her supplies, she grabbed a cookbook from inside one of the cabinets and dropped it in front of Leon. "You'll be making what's on page 105," she said. "Now let's bake!"

With that, the two began their work. Pinkie began by making a "super-humongous" batch of snickerdoodle cookies. Leon had been assigned to make cupcakes. The difference between their skills was readily apparent; while Pinkie Pie worked quickly and with confidence, Leon worked slowly, uncertainly, keeping one eye firmly locked on the cookbook Pinkie had given him at all times. Pinkie Pie had just about finished with the first batch of cookies- all that was left to do was stick it in the oven. She looked back at Leon to check his progress- judging from the egg he was holding, he wasn't even a third of the way done with the cupcakes yet. "Leon, I'm going to go out and get some fresh apples. I'll be right back."

One of his eyes rolled back to look over his shoulder. "Okay." He watched her leave. He was getting frustrated- this shouldn't be so difficult. How did Pinkie Pie make it look so easy? He needed to pick up his pace, now. So, he grabbed up all the necessary ingredients, mixed them together, poured the batter into the cupcake pan, and slammed it into the oven and turned it as high as it would go.

Pinkie Pie dashed out of the store, to the Apple family stall down the street; she bought a large bag of apples from the stallion there- Caramel, she thought his name was- and hurried back to the bakery. She stepped back inside to find smoke billowing out of the kitchen. Several loud pops sounded from somewhere inside, and Leon staggered out, covered in soot, hacking and coughing. "Oh… oh man, that was terrible…" he noticed Pinkie. "Uh, Pinkie? I don't think those cupcakes are gonna work out."

"That-that's okay. But I think I should handle the baking from now on. But I have something else you can do." She galloped up the stairs, bringing down a large drum a few moments later. "First, put this on." Leon did as she asked, before asking, "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"You're supposed to hit it- it _is_ a drum, right?" She handed him some drumsticks. "Now, you have to go all through the town and let everyone know that we're throwing a party!" She began to push him out of the bakery. "Now off you go! I can handle all the baking!"

"Wait, what should I say if people ask where the party is?"

She stopped. "That's right, we didn't pick somewhere yet, did we?" She began pushing him again. "We'll just do it in the town square at sunset. Now get to it!" She pushed him out the bakery front door, slamming the door shut behind her. Suddenly, the door opened again and Pinkie peeked out. "Ooh! And don't forget to stop by Sweet Apple Acres and let the Apple family know!" The door slammed shut again. With nothing else to do, he began to march down the street, his steps falling in time with the pounding of his drum.

All eyes fell on him as he wandered through the town. That was good- it meant everyone would pay attention to his announcement. "_Attention, citizens of Ponyville!_" he began, putting on his best announcer's voice. "_You are all cordially invited to a party at the town square, today at sunset! There will be food! There will be friends! There will be __**fun**__!_" Leon made sure to repeat his announcement regularly as he marched.

Suddenly, Leon spotted Ocho walking down the street. He was accompanied by a purple unicorn, the same one that had been with them earlier- Twilight Sparkle was her name. Or, was it Applejack? No, he was pretty sure this one was Twilight Sparkle- that other pony, the orange one with the apples on her butt, that one had to be Applejack. He wandered over to them- Ocho broke off his conversation with Twilight as he grew close. "Leon?" he asked. "What are you doing? You look like a fool. Well, a bigger fool than usual."

"Well, Pinkie Pie's throwing a party for us, and it's my job to tell everybody in town!"

"Leon, we don't have time for parties. We're supposed to be-"

"You should just go along with it," Twilight interrupted. "Besides, it would be a good chance for you to meet everypony in town."

"See, the local thinks it's a good idea! So we should do it." He looked at Twilight. "You're name's Twilight, right?" She nodded. "Twilight, do you know how to get to Sweet Apple Acres from here? I figure you'd know your way around this place."

"Of course. Just follow this road all the way back, and you'll be there in no time."

"Thanks." He began to walk down the street, pounding his drum all the while. Leon walked down the road, continuing to repeat his announcement. There wasn't much of a point though- there were no ponies on this road, and the buildings had given way to countless trees. Up ahead though, he could see a barn alongside a few other buildings- no doubt Sweet Apple Acres. As he drew close, he couldn't help but notice a large circle of ponies gathered around something- he rushed over as fast as the drum he carried would let him and pushed his way to the front of the crowd, to be met with an incredible sight.

It was Silverback taking a bull by the horns… quite literally! His hands were firmly locked around the horns of a large, black bull- the bull snorted angrily and dug his hooves into the dirt, pushing against Silverback will all his might, but the great ape wasn't giving up even an inch. The deadlock continued for several more moments, with neither gaining an advantage over the other. Suddenly, Silverback twisted the bull's head sideways; the bull cried out in surprised as he lost his footing, and fell to the ground.

Dusting off his hands, Silverback looked down at the bull and said, "Are you finished?"

The bull slowly rose to his feet, rubbing his neck with a hoof. "Yeah… yeah, I'm done. Oh, my neck." Just then, a lasso roped itself around the bull's neck, and a gold-furred stallion holding a rope in his mouth approached. "Come on Caesar, let's get you back to your pen," he said, tugging on the rope. Defeated, the bull complied, trudging back the way he came.

"Oh wow, that was amazing!" Leon called.

Silverback looked down at him. "Leon," he said flatly. "Do I dare ask what you're doing?"

"I'm telling everyone in town that there's a party at the town square at sunset."

"A party?" A pony with a large cowboy hat approached. Leon recognized her as the same pony who had been with Twilight- this had to be Applejack. "Did Pinkie Pie rope ya into this?"

"Well, she asked for my help."

"Leon, you have more important things to worry about," Silverback said. "The Humvee isn't going to fix itself."

"Come on, John. I could fix that thing in five minutes if I had to."

"How can you be so sure?"

Leon simply smirked. "It's me, remember?"

"…Fair enough."

Leon looked back at Applejack. "So, can you make it?"

"Yeah, we'll be there. Right Big Macintosh?"

A very large, bright red pony nearby replied simply, "Eeyup."

"Good. Well, I have to go- Pinkie's probably waiting for me." Leon began to head back into town. As he left, he called back, "Be sure to tell all your friends!" Sweet Apple Acres had been the last stop on his one-lizard parade route- now that he'd been there, every pony in town (in theory at least) knew about the party. After a few minutes, he returned to Sugarcube Corner. He removed the drum, but as he reached for the door, Pinkie Pie's head suddenly burst out of the drum. "Hi! Did you tell everypony yet?"

"_**DAAAH!**_" Leon screamed, dropping the drum on the ground. She calmly climbed out and asked, "What's the matter?"

"How did you get in there?" he asked back- the last he saw of her, she was presumably working to replace the cupcakes he had irreparably ruined.

"In where?"

"In the-" He looked down at the drum- the face Pinkie had broken through was now fixed, as though nothing had ever happened to it. He picked it up and stared at it, confused.

"So, did you tell everypony in town about the party?" Pinkie asked again.

"Uh… yeah."

"Good. Now you can help me with the food again!" She bounced inside the bakery, with Leon following.

"Are you sure Pinkie? I mean last time, things didn't go too well."

They entered the kitchen. "Don't worry- you won't have to bake anything."

"Okay, then what am I gonna make?"

She smiled back at him "Pudding!" She grabbed something out of a nearby cabinet. "Here." Pinkie handed him a large bowl and multiple packages of vanilla pudding mix. "This is a special pudding mix that can make super-ginormous batches. Just add water and stir. But don't add too much- each package only needs a tiny, tiny bit of water to mix with."

Leon had barely listened. "Right, right." He began to pour package after package of vanilla pudding mix into the bowl, far more than anypony really should. "Just add water and mix until it gets all gooey. It's just like back home- I can't imagine how you'd get that wrong." He put the bowl of pudding mix in the sink.

At that moment, Pinkie realized just how much pudding mix Leon had added to the bowl. "_Wait!_" But Leon didn't listen. He grabbed the faucet's knob and turned it as far as it would turn. Almost instantly, he and Pinkie Pie were swallowed by the rapidly expanding white mound.

The subsequent pudding explosion could be seen and heard from as far away as Canterlot.


End file.
